perfect.

there are many definitions and ideas to what the word perfect means. for this post i am going to focus on this definition.

perfect: exactly fitting the need in a certain situation or for a certain purpose.

i have struggled with the idea of perfection or being perfect for as long as i can remember. every little girl wants to be a perfect, pretty princess, every high school girl wants to be perfect on prom night, every engaged woman desires to be perfectly beautiful at their wedding, and every person dreams of being seen as enough. as perfect. because we feel that by being perfect we are the epitome of wholeness and togetherness and by having those things that we are without flaw. in society we have been told that in order to be "perfect" we need to be a certain size, a certain weight,or a certain idea of attractive to be seen as perfect.

somehow the definition of perfect has been directly related to the way a person looks. a common phrase people say is that, "no one is perfect". and by societies standards that is absolutely correct. while there may be a few people who do fall into all those categories the general population of people do not. but that does not mean that we don't strive to reach this unreachable idea of perfection.

this blog is dedicated to talking about the tortures and heartaches ive put myself through to try to reach this goal and how it hasn't worked out so well for me. all of the ads advertising, "lose weight now" or plastic surgeons that are in business are around because of people trying to perfect themselves or make themselves seem flawless. a tighter face. a smaller stomach. a bigger butt. all those things and hundreds more. ive talked about my opinions of plastic surgery before here. but sadly no matter how many surgeries and crash diets a person goes on they will never meet societies view of what they should be.

but there is hope. because in the true definition of perfect, and not societies depiction and warped opinion, it states that being perfect is exactly fitting the need in a certain situation or for a certain purpose. so by definition, being perfect is fulfilling a purpose in which you were designed for. no where does it give requirements. no where does it say you have to be a size zero or have a certain size bust. it doesn't even address artificial attributes.

and for some reason that reality gave me immense peace. ibecause no, i will never look like a super model. i will never be tall enough, pretty enough, or skinny enough for that. but i can be too loud, too emotional, too compassionate, and too much sometimes. i can be overweight, frumpy, and unattractive and that's all okay. because that's the person i am meant to be. that is the person i am. and by being myself, which is a very flawed girl, i can still be perfect.

so by writing this blog i am in definition--perfect. i am writing my heart and addressing issues i feel that are too important to ignore. im exactly fitting the purpose that i was intended for.

of course i have many, many flaws and society will look at me and shake their heads in disgust. because society focuses on who we should be and not who we really are. they want to change us instead of accept us. the true peace i find is that by embracing this view of perfection i don't have to do anything. i don't have to change or warp anything. all i have to do is strive to be a better person but never a different person. i just have to be me because i know i am enough.
-------------------------------------------
i am perfect.
and you are the definition of what perfection truly is.
don't ever believe anything else.

{i heard this song on the radio the other day and it fits perfectly with this post}

made a wrong turn

once or twice

dug my way out

blood and fire

bad decisions

that's alright

welcome to my silly life

mistreated

misplaced

misunderstood

miss "no way, it's all good"

it didn't slow me down

mistaken

always second guessing

under estimated

look, i'm still around

pretty, pretty please

don't you ever, ever feel

like your less than

less than perfect

pretty, pretty please

if you ever, ever feel

like you are nothing

you are perfect to me

you're so mean

when you talk

about yourself

you are wrong

change the voices

in your head

make them like you instead

so complicated

look happy

you'll make it

filled with so much hatred

such a tired game

it's enough

i've done all i can think of

chased down all my demons

i've seen you do the same

pretty, pretty please

don't you ever, ever feel

like your less than

less than perfect

pretty, pretty please

if you ever, ever feel

like you are nothing

you are perfect to me