Friday, September 23, 2011

the f word

you have all heard it before. easy to say. even easier to spell. short. to the point. simple. everyone knows what it means. there is no need to look it up in the dictionary. and even worse it shoots out like venom and quickly infects anyone its aimed at. such an easy word to say.

fat girl. fat thighs. fat face. fat stomach. fat ankles. fat hands. fat cheeks. fat. fat. fat.

if i had a penny for every time i heard a person refer to another by this word-- i would be the richest person alive.

what a disgusting reality.

i have been called every variation of this word but for some reason the real thing stings much more. the association with this word is so negative, so heavy, so painful.

how many time when you are telling a friend about a girl you cant stand have you said, "oh yeah, the fat girl" or the "fat one" or the "big one"? or how many times when you find out your ex boyfriend is dating someone new does your friend comfort you by saying, "don't worry though, she's fat" and strangely enough you find comfort in that?

but then on the opposite side of things when you are talking about a girl of normal size do you say, "oh the average weight girl" or "the skinny girl"? never. because for some reason weight is instantly not important.

i can honestly say that NEVER in my life have i called a girl or person fat. especially as an insult. i have consciously made a decision to not point that out because honestly...whats the point?

calling someone fat doesn't make me skinnier.
calling someone fat doesn't make me prettier.
calling someone fat doesn't make them any less of a person.

and in all reality it would make ME less of a person.

even when someone calls another person fat not as an insult it still makes me feel sick. because instantly it takes who that person is as a person and throws it out the window. by putting that fat label on someone it takes away from all the other wonderful things they are. it insantly says THIS is what is really important about that person. nothing else they have to offer.

i recently found out i have been referred to as "big katie" and "fat katie". the reality of that hurt because it made me realize how much my weight is seen by other people. but then. it pissed me off quite frankly. because how many of my other friends have a quirkly little title before their name exposing their biggest insecurities. like pimple sarah? b.o. dan? freakishly tall mike? saggy boobs kendra? (those are all made up people by the way). would that be socially acceptable? what if i walked into a party and said, "hey stuff-your-bra-to-make-your-boobs-look-bigger amanda! how are you?" how would people react? I'll tell you. they would freak out! call me some variation of the b word and tell me i am malicious. but if someone calls me "fat katie" its okay because i laughed it off.

NO its not okay.

the fact of the matter is everyone is insecure about something. but exposing someones weight seems to be the most socially accepted because people laugh it off and joke about it to hide how it really feels. no one wants their insecurities brought to the attention of others. would you want yours talked about casually like the weather? probably not.

think about how many times you have referred to someone as fat. or joked with a friend about them being fat. or about someone else being fat. think about how many times you've said the word fat?

then thing about how many times was that word used to uplift someone? to give them encouragement? once? twice?
probably never.

fat is a negative word. an evil word. it is cancer to self esteem. it echos through the insecure's mind and buries itself deep into the crevices of their hearts.

the next time you are describing someone think about the adjectives you are using. think about how many times a day you say something about the way a person looks to describe them. and realize just like the "f word" our parents taught us about, its just as vile, just as destructive, and should be treated the same way.


  1. Kate-I love this post. Some people just don't understand the repercussions of this word. I have struggled with my weight for years going from a size 6 to a size 12 within a year...then a size 14..and then 16. It sounds crazy but people honestly treat you differently the bigger you get, like you are less of a person, but you aren't. You are still as wonderful inside as you were before and no matter how "big" you are, you Kate, are wonderful. Don't ever let someone's negativity get you down because you are GOD'S CREATION. Love you!!!

  2. While I do totally agree with you on the subject of pointing out other's flaws or supposed flaws, I must offer another point to consider. This is absolutely not to imply anything ill towards anybody who considers themselves fat or feels targeted and insulted by others because of their weight. Several thousand years ago, it was believed that the fatter you were the richer (and therefore higher class) you were. Nowadays, people idolize skinniness. It is disgusting first and foremost that we can be so caught up in a trend. It is pure illusion to think that one thing is cool and another thing is not cool except by your own practical analysis of the situation. So here's my second point and the real grit of it, because I don't want to offend anyone here, but if you are fat, you know it. Unless you are completely self-deluded which is another unfortunate event entirely. Anyway, if you are fat, I cannot sympathize with you unless you are the one in a million case with a real medical problem that causes you to gain weight regardless of diet and exercise. But for the most part, if you are fat it is either your fault or the fault of your family. Once you get to a certain level of maturity it becomes your fault. If you don't want to be the victim anymore, then take charge of your health. Do some research on food and health. You have access to all the information in the world, literally. You can google just about anything and find reliable results. You have absolutely no excuses.

    Just as a side note, Oils and fats fill your stomach a quarter of the way with 500 cal. Sugars, salts, meats, eggs and dairy fill your stomach half way with 500 cal. Plant based whole foods fill your stomach all the way with 500 cal. The ladder is what we are meant to eat, it makes us feel full with fewer calories to eat plant based whole foods. You don't have to worry about caloric intake. And honestly, you feel better when you eat better. Taking care of your body is your responsibility, and you shouldn't expect others to sympathize with you when you aren't doing your part.

    I realize that might come off as hurtful to some, it might sound mean, but I am simply trying to be honest in a way that an open minded person might feel motivated to take care of themselves. If anything I said affected anyone negatively than just ignore me, but I beg you, please consider carefully what I have said and be open, and be responsible.