i feel like i haven't been completely honest with you all. while there have been some wonderful ups in these past couple months there have also been a lot of downs. i originally started this blog as an accountability partner and to keep me from falling down that path i have struggled on for many years.
but, unfortunately i did.
its really hard and embarrassing to admit but the guilt i have been holding inside is so much worse then the actually admitting of it. so here i am. admitting i struggled. i fell. and i failed myself.
but i guess there's always tomorrow. or even the day after that. i can wallow in my self pity like i have done for year or i can suck it up and deal with the consequences one day at a time. i knew this journey wouldn't be easy and maybe all the attacks and low blows i have had are because im doing something right.
maybe its okay to admit you failed. its okay to not be perfect. because man, i am imperfect. maybe its okay to talk about things that most people don't wanna talk about. and maybe its okay to have a rough patch.
its what you do after that really counts.
i am sorry i failed and that its taken me this long to admit it. all of my posts have been genuine and from my heart, i just have been hurting a lot more than i have let on. and i am sorry.
but im not giving up and its gonna take a lot more to bring me down.